The challenge in any relationship
A relationship is an expression of a desire. In regard to my children, I have a desire to see them grow up to be healthy, happy, successful and contributing to the good of others in some way. But I also have a desire to be treated kindly and respectfully by them, to have them behave well in the world so that I “look good”, and to be shown appreciation for everything I do for them.
With a best friend, I desire to see her happy, do well in her job and with her passions. But I also have a desire to be heard, to be given support during difficulties in my life, and to be validated and complimented for my successes.
It is these two sides of every relationship – desiring things for the other person; and desiring things for ourselves – that get us stuck or confused. Almost always, if you are honest with yourself, the problem results from either 1) not knowing how to make our desires heard and supported; or 2) not fully accessing our deepest desire for the other person’s well-being.
Read on to learn how radical acceptance provides a powerful skill for improving any relationship.